Monday, September 05, 2011

Time for a sabbatical

Sorry I've been incommunicado for awhile, I've had a lot on my mind - an effect of being bipolar and having a huge list of mental issues like insomnia, obsessive compulsive disorder, seasonal affective disorder, paranoia, and who knows what else. I was feeling like I went on autopilot a few times because I was doing things without remembering why I did them.

I don't like the feeling of not being in control, I had a pretty cool contract job for awhile and I'm just unable to cope with sudden life changes - at least if I'm feeling distracted and stressed out. I'm not trying to cut off my ties with any friends online or offline, I just need to focus on feeling healthy and normal. Sorry again, I'm not one to be in the limelight and I would rather work behind the scenes.

My boyfriend is more into talking to anyone and asking questions, I haven't socialized myself properly and it is very hard for me to feel comfortable when there's so much uncertainty. Most people understand this and I just can't always put myself out there if I feel like my thoughts are racing and going all over the place. I like helping people, but I also like to feel safe.

Thank you to all of you good people who like to keep in touch. You help keep me sane and feeling connected even if I just want to run and hide in my room. Being so introverted is tough, I think those I've opened up to understand. I'm feeling drained at the moment and will be back to my happy normal self soon.